February 13, 2012

A wise historian once told me that you can tell EVERYTHING about a person just from careful reading of their tastes & writing styles. With such a reductive view, I think it probably says quite a lot that my favourite love song is by Green Day.

One, it’s from a male point of view & shows a certain disposession of romance. I think that sums me up perfectly. I’m not a Valentines day or flowers kind of girl & never have been, neither have I ever been particularly fluent in the language of emotion or love (alcoholic daddy issues whodafunkit?) Billy-Joe’s lyrics just speak to me.

Cos I cannot speak, lost my voice,

speechless & redundant,

cos I love you’s not enough,

I’m lost for words.

I love you just isn’t enough & no one day can summarise the depth of emotion & connection that I will always feel towards my Grant, no roses, no chocolates, no £5 Clinton Card will sum it up. What is enough is knowing through whatever rocky patch, whatever awful situation we will always find our way back to eachother. There’s no feeling like being with him, the years of shared experiences & memory (I can never stop myself from smiling when my mind drifts back to him walking me home every night when I was 15 & he was 16) or how we’ve grown up together. To be honest, I guess I have a little dash of the Earnshaw in my affection…

'my love…resembles the eternal rocks beneath, a source of little visible delight but neccessary…he's always, always in my mind…not as a pleasure, anymore than I am always a pleasure to myself - but as my own being.'

Emily Bronte Wuthering Heights (1847)